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Alright, Cat. That’s it. Why must you only demand attention when I want you to leave me alone? You sleep for 14 hours a day. I go to work…you are sleeping. I get home…you are sleeping. All I want is six hours of sleep. I mean, I’m really not asking for much here.

And yet, if I let you in the room with me, you spend the entire night licking my face or digging your claws into my thigh. When I finally lock you out of my room, you start meowing and scratching at my door as if your life depends on it. Eventually I can’t take your constant barrage of meowing for a second longer. I jump out of bed and throw open the door. What do I see? You sitting there casually licking your paw. You glance up at me, turn, and slowly walk away as if you never actually wanted to come in—as if I’m the one bothering you.

See, that’s the thing about cats–they love reminding you of their independence. They won’t do what you ask. You can’t train them. You won’t win them over with food or presents. They become needy when you want to be left alone and yet refuse to come when you call. They like to stay out all night and don’t want you to even think about touching them when they find their way to bed. To a cat, we don’t put up with them, they put up with us. And that’s when I realized it—cats are just like women.